6th and most idiotic failure mode:
I expected all the fialure to be under the dash, so I raised the suspension and drove the car up onto some ramps to make it easier to work down there. First thing you have to do is remove the kick panel, which holds the parking brake cable. If you've heard this story before, its because another of our co-idiots worked here in his sloped driveway and inadvertently released the parking brake, letting the car roll backwards across the street and into a brick wall, which it knocked over. He almost ran over himself in the process.
I forgot all about this, worked in the same spot, walked into my garage to get a socket and heard movement outside. Looked back just in time to see the XM run into the front of my Hayabusa-powered Miata.
Never work under the dash without wheel chocks.
Deepened a existing dent in the Miata, removed a bit of paint from both cars. Ripped a hole in my car cover. Reinforced the accuracy of this thread's title...